


when dawn breaks

by blades



Category: Twosetviolin
Genre: Gen, warnings in notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 13:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30140475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blades/pseuds/blades
Summary: an image resides in eddy’s mind; recurring, unrelenting.-a scene from the practice room in uni
Kudos: 21





	when dawn breaks

**Author's Note:**

> content warnings: mental health, stress, (imagined) body horror

an image resides in eddy’s mind; recurring, unrelenting.

in it, he looks down at his hands. he weaves them together, slotting his fingers together until the second joints on each finger nudge against each other, interlocking. like this, his fingers are locked together, but there is still room to bend. he bends his fingers at the base, watches them slide against each other until they form a bridge between his palms. and then he squeezes his fingers against each other, presses the fingertips of one hand against the second joints of the other. he applies more pressure, watches his fingers bend backwards at the joints. 

if he presses hard enough, his fingers will snap. 

when he returns to reality, he looks down at his hands, and weaves them together, squeezes his fingers together until they bend backwards. he considers what would happen if he presses harder, and they snap. he imagines bone will protrude out of his skin, sharp and jagged. in his vision, his fingers don’t bleed. 

he considers – if his fingers snap, he will never be able to play the violin again.

this is the only thing maintaining his self-preservation.

he presses a little harder, testing the way the bone and flesh on the underside of the joints strain. 

he thinks that maybe, if he can never pick up a violin again, he will finally be free.

he is bound to his violin. he loves it, and he cannot imagine not devoting his life to music. it leads to never-ending pursuit of perfection. he is suffocating. he cannot remember what it was like to play the violin for the first time. 

the violin is a curse that tears him apart at the seams. if he continues to play the violin, he will never be free. but without the violin, everything in him will break like fibreglass.

he unweaves his hands, spreads his fingers out and stretches them until he feels the muscle at the base of each finger pull taut. he stretches them until his hands shake, and then he lets go. he shakes his hands out and picks up his violin again.

**Author's Note:**

> unfortunately this is something i was facing myself a few years ago. i did always want to make something out of it. and then they spoke up about their own struggle with mental health, and. well. 
> 
> if this is something you're facing too, i'm sorry. i hope it passes for you.
> 
> catch me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/swords_cat/)


End file.
